Why Do We Resist Sorting Out Our Finances? Overcoming the Fear of Facing Your Money
I recently picked up one of my favourite books again, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.
It’s one of those books that calls out the struggles we all face when trying to do anything that really matters—whether it’s creating art, starting a new project, or, in our case, getting our financial house in order.
It felt like Pressfield was speaking directly to the part of me (and, honestly, the part of many of my clients) that resists making meaningful changes with money.
So, why do we resist sorting out our finances? Let’s dive in.
What Is Financial Resistance?
Pressfield introduces this concept called “Resistance”—an invisible, yet powerful force that stops us from doing what’s truly important. It’s that weight you feel in your gut when you know you should open your bank statement, but instead you scroll through social media. It’s the urge to avoid budgeting and tell yourself, “I’ll do it later.” It’s not just procrastination—it’s deeper than that. Resistance is sneaky and wants to keep you comfortable, right where you are.
Common Reasons We Resist Facing Our Finances
When it comes to our finances, Resistance loves to rear its head. Here are a few common reasons why we resist dealing with our money:
- Fear of the Unknown: What if things are worse than we imagined? It’s easier not to look.
- Shame or Guilt: Maybe you’ve made some financial mistakes. The shame around those choices can make you want to bury your head in the sand.
- Perceived Complexity: Sometimes, we’re convinced that financial matters are too complicated to handle, which makes the whole thing seem overwhelming.
- Emotional Discomfort: Let’s face it—money touches every aspect of our lives, and the emotions it stirs can be unsettling. Better not to feel those, right? Resistance knows this and uses it against us.
The Role of the Ego and Self-Sabotage
Pressfield talks about the ego’s role in Resistance—how it keeps us locked in patterns that feel safe, even if they’re not necessarily good for us. This hits close to home when I think about how often we sabotage our financial wellbeing. It’s the little self-defeating actions, like buying things we don’t need to get a quick boost or avoiding a budget because it feels like a restriction. The ego doesn’t like change, and it will find ways to keep us where we are.
Overcoming Resistance: Strategies Inspired by The War of Art
The good news is, Pressfield also gives us a roadmap for overcoming Resistance—and it’s incredibly relevant to our finances.
- Show Up as a Professional: One of Pressfield’s key messages is that amateurs wait for inspiration, but professionals show up every day, no matter what. To overcome financial resistance, we need to treat our finances like a professional would. This could mean setting a weekly “money date” with yourself. Consistency is key here—the more regularly you show up, the easier it becomes.
- Break It Down: Pressfield suggests that one way to beat Resistance is to break the daunting task into smaller actions. Instead of tackling your entire financial situation in one go, take it step by step. Start by listing all your bank accounts. Then maybe move to track one month of expenses. Breaking it down means the Resistance doesn’t have as much to grab onto.
- Daily Practice: Emphasize consistency over perfection. Like an artist creating daily, make finances part of your regular routine.
- Embrace Discomfort: Pressfield is pretty blunt—you need to push through the discomfort. Facing your finances isn’t always comfortable, but the discomfort is a sign that you’re doing something worthwhile. Think of it as growing pains.
The Freedom on the Other Side
What really struck me, rereading The War of Art, was the reminder of what’s waiting for us on the other side of Resistance. If we can face our finances—if we can do the work—what we get is freedom. Clarity. Less stress. A sense of control over our lives. It’s not just about the numbers on a page; it’s about the life we get to live when our finances support our goals.
I’ve seen this transformation firsthand. Clients who once resisted opening their bills are now planning for holidays they never thought they’d be able to afford. They broke through that initial fear, that Resistance, and discovered how empowering financial clarity can be.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why do I feel so anxious about looking at my finances?
Financial anxiety is incredibly common. It often stems from fear of the unknown, shame over past mistakes, or just feeling overwhelmed by complexity. Breaking it down into small steps can help reduce that anxiety.
Q: How do I start if my financial situation feels too overwhelming?
Start small. Pick one thing, like writing down all your accounts or categorising one month of spending. Progress is about consistency, not perfection.
Q: What if I’ve made big financial mistakes in the past?
Mistakes are part of the process. Facing them head-on is the first step to moving past them. Shame keeps us stuck, but taking small actions helps build new habits that lead to financial recovery and growth.
Q: How often should I review my finances?
Regularly. A weekly “money date” is a great habit—it helps you stay on top of things without feeling overwhelmed. The more you make it part of your routine, the less daunting it becomes.
Q: Can a financial coach help me with Resistance?
Absolutely. A coach provides guidance, support, and accountability. They can help you break tasks down and keep you on track, especially when Resistance is at its strongest.
Take the First Step Today
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that Resistance is a natural part of facing your finances. You’re not alone in feeling it. The key is to take that first small step. Open your banking app. Write down your debts. Start with something manageable, and commit to showing up regularly.
Like Pressfield says, the most important thing is to start. You might be surprised by how much freedom lies just beyond the discomfort.
If you’ve been struggling to face your finances, know that this is completely normal, and you’re not alone. I’d love to hear from you—what small step can you take today to move past Resistance? Let’s beat this together.
Ready to Take Charge of Your Finances?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your finances or struggling to get started, I’m here to help. I offer personalised coaching to help you:
- Overcome the fear of facing your money.
- Create a financial plan that aligns with your goals.
- Build lasting habits for financial wellbeing.
Take advantage of my free 30-minute discovery call to explore how we can work together to reduce your money stress and build a financially happy life. Let’s take the first step towards a brighter financial future, together.
